Just Another Scar From A Faded Tattoo

Convictions

2009-04-19T11:43:00.000-07:00

So I completely bailed on a reading I had last night. I don't normally do this but I could not in good faith go against my gut feeling that I was doing something wrong. It was a censored reading, all ages, at a coffee shoppe. I agreed to be a featured poet but there was no advertisements and again...censored. My poetry cannot be censored and if it means I piss some people off then so be it. I write what I feel. I don't string swear words along through every piece, but my work regardless of that is raw, brutal, and sometimes a violent display of imagery that compliments the images in my head from memories past.

I felt completely ill and uncomforatble with myself by agreeing to do this and fought internally about it. Granted it was another notch in my floral bed post but as an artist even tweeking my words for the sake of numbers isn't something I would be proud of doing. I am Lisa fucking Vicious! I'm a damned rockstar poet, not someone who writes about hugging trees and using the word beautiful to describe some imaginary world in my hobbist-head.

I apologize for bailing without notice last night but I don't apologize for the way I feel and I refuse to share my soul, my words, my pressence, with people who want me to be something I am not.

...in conclusion, if you want Lisa Vicious - be prepared for the unexpected, the obscene, and the best damn - honest - soul searching-slap in the face spoken word you've ever heard!

Food For Thought

2009-01-26T08:45:00.000-08:00

Who am I? Really. Who am I to you? Since a little before Christmas I've been fortunate enough to have rekindled some friendships, found new friendships with old acquaintances, and I have realized reaffirmed to myself and for them that who we are is seldom what others see. Yes, I am an open book 99% of the time but what I have found is that when people pass thru your daily Life and they don't see what they expect to or what they would like to they think you aren't that person and thus you lose your chance to prove that you indeed do that more than the facet that was shown on a particular day. Does that make sense?

There is that quote about making a good first impression, but really how can you when you can't be your absolute best and show your whole self in such a small frame of time? When are we going to start looking deeper at people, not analyzing them, but let's not keep licking the surface because what sour coated candy may taste awful at first might have some kick ass sweetness inside if you lick it long enough to find out.

My point? It takes more effort but let's try a 1,2,3....three strikes your out test when we can. Whether it's with new friends, a band, trying new food... never underestimate someone or something based on a first or second meeting because you might end up screwing the pooch!

Women’s Self-Empowerment Week

2009-01-07T14:50:00.000-08:00

Yep, that's right January 5-11th is Women's Self-empowerment Week and although I am a fan of promoting self improvement year round this would be a good time to encourage those of you who don't live by this rule to spend at least one day this week doing something to empower yourself as not just a person but as a woman.

Some simple suggestions would be to:

take a self -defense class
learn about womens issues around the world and take action
do something drastic with your hair and embrace the new you
(my personal fav)learn to multitask so you don't cause an accident while driving and talking on the phone and applying your lipstick (it can be done responsibly!)
educate yourself more!
pick one thing you wanted to do but didn't have the guts to do and DO IT!

I also suggest some reading material that will bring empowerment all year round:

Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl by Sheri Argov Full of much-needed advice, hilarious real dating scenarios, "she says/he thinks" tables, and the author's special "attraction principles, " Why Men Love Bitches shows women how to always be unpredictable, exciting, strong, and ever so cool.
The Girl's Guide to Being a Boss (Without Being a Bitch) By Caitlin Friedman Caitlin Friedman will teach you to be powerful without being possessive, to be opinionated without being brassy, and to have a strong voice without micromanaging. You'll learn just how to own the role of queen bee in a positive way so that you can be more mentor than manager, one who leads, inspires, and motivates.
Slackonomics By Lisa Chamberlain Lisa Chamberlain shows how Generation X has survived and even thrived in the era of creative destruction, but will now be faced with solving economic and environmental problems on a global scale.

I own these books, they rock. So this week, even if it's going out and celebrating your womanhood by purchasing that new BOB you were eyeing online, you owe it to yourself to do something. For me, I'm going to simply remind myself how lucky I am to be able to stand on my own but also that I have the love of a wonderful mate who isn't intimidated by my independence or success.

"It Doesn't Matter To Me"

2009-01-02T13:34:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel as though I should quit writing poetry altogether and just rant about assholes I encounter daily. Today was no exception dealing with an asshole but this guy really got my goat! I went to the local pet store to buy my lizard some live mice and as the purchase was almost complete the young man cashier says to me, "would you like a bag?" to which I had barely finished my reply "yes please, you never know....when...th...e...mi...ce...wil..." and before I got to respond the with what I felt was an important statement about why I felt I needed a bag to put the box of mice in he says "it doesn't matter to me" and starts talking to another associate!

Wha wha what? It doesn't matter to you? Now I understand he probably meant it doesn't matter if I took a bag or not as opposed to why I wanted the bag or not but still, to say that and not even in a nonchalant way as one would when being asked about pizza toppings. This little fucker was pissed that he had to DO HIS JOB up until the very last minute his shift ended.

My interpretation of "it doesn't matter to me" is:

my husband is terrifed of mice and is driving, say one of them mofos gets out and scared Tom causes an accident and kills a small child in a car because it didn't matter the mice weren't in a bag extra secure
what if I accidentally dropped the box on the way to the car and the mice which cost $3.00 a piece scattered across the parking lot and I didn't have another ten bucks to buy more because it didn't matter
not to mention the fact that I had other items for my cats - I didn't want to carry everything seperately, of course YOU ASSHOLE - I WANT A BAG!

I try real hard to be nice to people especially in retail because I remember how much it sucks to work retail at times but c'mon if you expect to be treated with respect then have some common sense and treat your customers with respect because IT DOES MATTER.

Merry Christmas, final blog of 2008

2008-12-20T00:53:00.000-08:00

As 2008 rapidly comes to an end, a bit to fast for me these last weeks, I wish you all a wonderful Christmas and New Year and look forward to better things to come in 2009!

After today's SNOW STORM OF DOOM! and 2 "naps" (I can't stay asleep), I have finally relaxed enough to collect my thoughts and wanted to share with you how very grateful I am to be me. I know, sounds pretentious but it's not. I have the love of a wonderful husband, new friendships in bloom with new friends and old accquaintences and family, I have truly been able to help people by being nobody special - just me. And that's pretty cool. I am especially grateful for all you who come to read my blogs, buy my books, and art, and support me with your words of encouragement. 2009 is going to be another new start, fresh, beautiful, and I hope you will stay here to share it with me!

Love,
Lisa Vicious

How to Live Green on a Budget

2008-11-03T17:06:00.000-08:00

If you're like me going 100% green on a low budget isn't likely to happen soon but there are things we can do that will save both energy and money and turn your home into a green house.

How to Live Green on a Budget

You care for the environment, but perhaps the price of organic food makes you hyperventilate as you see your budget fly out the window. Believe it or not, a person on a budget can do plenty of things to better the environment. And often, living green saves you money. Follow these steps to live green on a budget.

Try washing clothes in cold water. Not only do cold-water washes get your clothes clean using less energy, but they also cause less wear and tear on clothing. The same applies to line drying your clothes. Clothes dryers use about 66 billion kilowatt-hours of electricity and cost you more than the green way of hanging your clothes on a clothesline.

Turn the thermostat down in the winter. Save five percent on your heating budget for every degree you turn down your thermostat. Lower energy costs on cooling by depending on ceiling fans over air conditioning. Weather stripping doors and windows helps you stay comfortable by reducing drafts.

Replace burnt out light bulbs with energy efficient compact fluorescent light bulbs. Live green and save up to $30 in electricity costs on each bulb.

Spend a couple of minutes less in the shower to save water and your budget. Save further with low-flow showerheads.

Live green by shopping for food wisely. Buy in bulk, in season and bring your own shopping bag. Ultimately, this saves energy and money. Check out places like Sam's Club or Costco.

Forget about those expensive cleaning products that often harm the environment as well. Look to vinegar, baking soda and hydrogen peroxide for your cleaning needs.

Unplug appliances that aren't being used. They though they aren't on it is still using what is called "phantom" or "vampire" energy. You can save money and energy doing this simple action.

Fat Poet .003 : The Cleanse

2008-10-25T18:45:00.000-07:00

For about 3 and a half weeks I was feeling great, maintaining my diet and suddenly I became sluggish and bloated again! I don't know if it's a product of my anti-depressants or the weather, I can't pin point it. So I decided to do a body detox ie. I'm cleaning my insides out.

Day One: drinking water, took detox pill 725mg. No results yet.

P!nk Funhouse Review

2008-10-25T15:35:00.000-07:00

I LOVE P!nks new Cd "Funhouse". She is one of those artists, and in my Life there are only 3 currently, who no matter where I am in time I can relate to her lyrics as if she was writing about me at that time. "Funhouse" is no exception. I think this is her most mature Cd to date and most personal.

It seems to mainly revolve around love, heartbreak, and dealing with loss. The whole CD is a lot slower paced that the single "So What" and is definately not that bubblegum crap that's on the radio now.

I highly recommend this CD, even if you aren't a fan of her music, read some of the lyrics online. You will be.

Gidget Gein is dead.

2008-10-17T23:08:00.000-07:00

I am truly sad to hear of the passing of Gidget Gein. When I started seriously working on my art, especially the 'drug art' collection, he inspired me so much. Most people know him as a former member of Marilyn Manson but he was also a truely gifted artist.

Back in 2003 I was thinking about buying this piece, but $3,000 was a bit to steep for me, however it is still one of my favourites:

Fat Poet .002 : The scam, what works, and the reality.

2008-10-15T11:55:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed on almost every website there is an ad for some sort of new miracle weight loss pill or patch etc., I will be the first to admit even though I know it's a scam product most likely, it does spark an interest. After all, I want to lose weight the easiest and fastest way possible too!

My weight has always fluctuated since I was in my very early teens and now in my thirties it's more difficult to lose. I have tried just about everything and wanted to share some info on what I know has worked for me, what will never work, and the reality of dieting.

WHAT WORKS?

In truth, the only diet that has worked for me has been Atkins. People either hate it or love it, and like all diets you need to do it in moderation. When I first started Atkins in early 2000 I followed it to a T with the exception of cutting out caffeine, I cut it in half. I lost 25lbs in a month and considering the amount of eggs alone I was eating on a daily basis my cholesterol didn't spike at all. Even now I for the part try to follow the basic ideals of Atkins and it does help the fight against the bulge.

Juicing! I am addicted to juicing and it's proven to not only help with weight loss but it gives me energy - which I really need. It's also a great colon detox, (yes I said that!)Having Fibromyalgia I get fatigued quickly. I would rather eat my veggies than juice then so I mainly stick to fruit when juicing.

THE SCAMS!?

The latest scam I have been seeing is the Acia Berry miracle! Now here's the thing, the Acai Berry isn't the scam, it's the marketing that is the scam. Acai Berries are actually the most beneficial fruit you can eat! It packs vitamin B1, B2, B3, vitamin E, vitamin C, phosphorus, calcium, potassium, fiber, proteins, and good fatty acids such as Omega 6 and Omega 9 into a little tasty berry. The way it works is that Acai IS an amazing antioxidant. Imagine your body as a piece of metal, I know not the best metaphor but go along with it, when metal becomes oxcidized it starts to rust; same with your body. Stress, bad eating habits, not exercising - all this starts to rust your body which is why you need an antioxcidant to neutralize all the ugly "free-radicals" swimming through your body causing sickness.

Back to the scam, it's the marketing. If these berries were available in your local fruit market you would be bombarded withseeing flat abs every 2 seconds. Unfortunately unless you live in the Amazon you can't have fresh Acai Berries. They rot after 24 hours from being picked, but the pulps can be frozen and transported and transformed into "the miracle drug". For shits and giggles I ordered a bottle, after all, it's $3.99 and it can't be any worse than half of the other shit I put in my body. Here's the catch, you are paying for shipping for a trial bottle, if you don't cancel after I believe it's 14 days, you get charged $79 for the next monthly supply. There in lies the scam. People, READ THE FINE PRINT! Nothing is ever free and miracles don't cost mere shipping prices. I haven't recieved my bottle yet but when I do I will write a complete review. I don't expect much to happen weight wise as much as my body will have more antioxcidants than usual.

THE REALITY:

The reality is, losing weight isn't easy. Exercising and eating right are the only things that will be successful. Vitamins help, suppliments help but if you aren't willing to work for your body, why would your body work for you?

A perfect example of stupidity

2008-10-14T19:54:00.000-07:00

This is how stupid people sound when suggesting that I am merely an Obama supoorter and we couldn't possibly have anything else in common. Clearly, I have no other talent, hobbies, or life other than supporting Barack Obama. *sarcasm off*

Taken from my Myspace:

Well maybe I should reconsider my request, I thought that people are more than just their political views - clearly I am nothing more than an Obama supporter. That's very open minded and respectful of you.

...and your profile struck my interest as well as we have common ground - on other things than politics. Nevermind tho', I will go back to writing about Obama, plastering my walls and house with Obama posters, and renaming all my animals Obama. I just can't get enough Obama, if he doesn't win I will simply die!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Mike G (Is married to 1 amazing girl)
Date: Oct 14, 2008 8:26 PM

why would I add some one i dont know AND is a Oboma supporter when I clearly am NOT???

Filth and Wisdom

2008-10-13T18:06:00.000-07:00

The ONLY reason I'd see this is because Eugene Hutz / Gogol Bordello is in it. Madonna needs to stay away from acting altogether, even if she's merely directing.

Love vs. Health

2008-10-13T15:43:00.001-07:00

My thoughts although scattered over the last couple of weeks have come back to an underlying problem, solution rather, that I need to somehow validate. As I continue to change and progress both personally and professionally I consider what will happen to those around me who aren't changing. Whether they be co-workers, family, lovers, friends, or just acquaintances I see in passing, do I leave them behind or drag them unwillingly along? The healthier answer would be to leave them, because after all, it's my life and nobody else can live it for me. However, I find that love puts doubt in my head and heart.

I have spent so long trying to get to a healthy place in my life and I want more. I want the life I should have been making for myself years ago... call me a late bloomer, but I do. It took me awhile to wake up. Just because I choose to let go of these people doesn't mean I don't love them, does it? Can love really conquer all? I don't know.

You Don't Know What Ya Got 'Til It's Gone...

2008-10-12T07:15:00.001-07:00

I actually slept for the most part through the night and got a decent 8 hours in. It's been awhile since I had a normal sleeping pattern that also meant getting up in the morning and not late afternoon or evening as it has been.

Sunday mornings have always been the best. No matter where I was in my Life, if I was hung over, depressed, traveling, or working, whatever... I find peace, contentment, and a sweet solitude that only a bright sunny Sunday morning can bring. A few years back I was living at this apartment somewhere in the belly of Shelby Twp., it was a small place called...mmm, something with a Lake, it escpaes me now. At any rate, there was no lake as described, it was more of a small pond that the apartments overlooked. I remember those Sundays I would roll out of my little piece of Serta heaven, groggily walk over to the balcony, open the vertical blinds, and sigh. It was a good view, I had a family of "honkers" who would waddle their yellow feathered gosslings down to the water everyday to get them to swim. I sat quietly for a couple of hours smoking my cigarettes and watching nature takes it's course and I never felt so peaceful. For a couple of hours life revolved around these creatures who probably had no clue I existed, and I didn't have a worry in the world.

I miss those damn geese.

Fat Poet .001

2008-10-11T12:30:00.001-07:00

Yes, I'm fat. I haven't always been this way, of course at my thinnest I was pounding away cocaine, booze, and pills, like there was no tomorrow. Which I see now, there is a tomorrow, and it's today. Today I am clean, rarely drink, and for the most part, happy. I found a great treatment for my Bipolar and have got my life back on track.

Now, during the finding of a treatment I had experimented with several anti-depressants and ALL of them caused massive weight gain. Within the last 2 years I've gained over 60 lbs along with a case of extremely low self esteem; however my last resort was also something that could help my back pain from an injury I obtained in 2002 - it was Cymbalta. This amazing little drug has transformed me from the inside out and I now have the emotional means to transform the rest of me. Which means losing weight.

For the last month, almost 2, I have been following a fairly strict plan:

eating 3 meals a day

snacking 2-3 times a day on high protein (ie. string cheese)

cut out 60% of a daly carb intake replacing it with fruit/veggie juice

exercising minimally (I'm getting back into the swing of things slowly)

and this has helped me lose inches as opposed to pounds, but anyone who understand true nutrition knows that's how it works. Gain muscle before losing actual pounds, but you can still lose inches. Well now I am out of my sweat pants and can fit comfortably into a size 20 jeans. This is a far cry from my size 12/13 a few years back!

So in my journey to find my self, yes, just one of me instead of 3, I want to publically document my weight loss. I also want to encourage those who are in the same boat as me. It took me awhile to understand that fat isn't "bad". It's not the fat that makes me feel bad about myself - it's ME that makes me feel bad. I start reading a wonderful book called "Well Rounded" by Catherine Lippincott.

In Well Rounded, Catherine offers:

Eight simple steps to living joyfully and gracefully, no matter what your shape or size
Body-positive meditations and energy-boosting, mood-improving movements
Invaluable insider tips from Catherine's years as a professional model -- including the fashion industry's big secret to looking fabulous
Easy strategies for feeling good about yourself now, without losing one pound
Stop trying to change your body. Start changing the way the world sees you.

I am still trying to get my head around "fat is not ugly". It's a rough process. Now, I do have to say that obese women are a different story. That's just the most unhealthiest way to exist. Notice, I say exist, not live. Which whether you are fat or skinny or happy or depressed many people do. Living is different than existing but that's another blog.

If you're obese - get help! It's not pretty, it's not healthy, and it's unatural to be that big.

I suggest reading this book if you are like me and need some assistance with motivation and understanding yourself as a big girl. If you're a guy who is overweight, I can't help you. I don't understand the male metabolizism or how you feel about your body. I do know that easier to be a fat guy then a fat woman in society and that's the catch 22 that fucks with our heads.

In conclusion, I am starting to document my experience with another muse for my writing as it may be. I hope you join me and become interactive in this as I want to continue to share my life with you.

2008-10-07T14:50:00.000-07:00

With the signs circling about my Aries temperament, I was actually able to start my second book of poetry for this year. It's called "Take For Pain As Needed" and should be done by the end of December. I feel positive that these words will break the boundaries that I have subconsciously set for myself as far as style and grammer.

I feel as if it's all coming together.

The Devil in Ms, Vicious

2008-10-07T14:33:00.000-07:00

The Devil in Ms. Vicious

LULU ID: 2314533

Category: Poetry

Description: Dancing in the chasm between resignedly annoyed and agonized; as if The Virgin Mary herself carried the cross while Jesus consorted with prostitutes, Lisa Vicious shouts down blasphemy with iconic blasphemy. Just as the young girl dreams of her knight, Miss Vicious dreams of dates with sanity and reason in the honestly, astutely, subtitled Bipolar Fairytales. She is angry, yet graciously allows her indignities to smear these pages...

With an Intro by the infamous Jimmy Doom!

Language: English

http://www.lulu.com/content/2314533 to purchase!!!